I don't mean with just me. I mean with both of us. How far we came and how we are now. Reading your writing just makes me think, "damn..". Before I was such a picker-upper. I made your days brighter, and you made mine brighter. But now, you probably can't stand just being around me. As for me, I wonder every single day if you're ever thinking about me, like how I'm thinking about you.
I remember something hat I had told you before when we first started talking; "I think it's more important to love the person, not the body". And I feel like an idiot because though out the whole time there was an "us" all I focused on was the physical aspect of the relationship. Granted, it wasn't all the time, but it was a lot more often than it should have been. But you know what? I don't even miss that. I don't want the physical aspect of the relationship anymore. Sure, a hug and a kiss would be nice, and so would holding hands and laying together, but I don't want any of the sexual stuff that may come with a relationship. I love you. YOU. Not your body, you as a person. The only thing more beautiful than your face, just has to be your personality. I miss talking from dusk till dawn. I miss laughing with you every single day. and just being mega-giganto dorks.
But none f that matters anymore. I know how you are as a person, and your not going to want to come back. You're going to have in the back of your mind, "I know how he is already. Thing will just go back to how they were before". No matter how much I change, it won't be enough for you, and you will have this sense of doubt in you.
I don't know what to say anymore, other than that I miss you. I love you. And I would do anything for an "us" again.
No comments:
Post a Comment